


Safe Haven

by Stormraven23



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-14 15:25:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11210880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stormraven23/pseuds/Stormraven23
Summary: WARNING: MAJOR CHARACTOR DEATH!! Will Tom recover from his husband’s death or not?





	Safe Haven

**Author's Note:**

> Major Character Death is your warning so if you don't want to read this. Thank you for your time!

Tom Paris looked up from the hostile alien he was grappling with only to see a heavy wooden club descends on the back of his husband’s skull. It was a sickening sound and Chakotay was gone before he hit the ground. His dark eyes caught Tom’s blue eyes for a nanosecond as the life fled and the stocky body crumpled.

“Chakotay!” Tom went mad as he finished killing the alien under him and dove for his husband.

“Emergency beam out.” He dimly heard as he cradled the lifeless body in his arms. There was the familiar feeling of the transporter.

“Look at me, Cha. Please, baby, wake-up. That’s it, you just go right ahead and take a nap. I’ll stay here and make sure no one disturbs you,” he crooned inanities to his husband while stroking the dark hair back from the forehead not noticing the blood and gray matter dripping on his trousers.

‘Why were they putting Cha on a bio bed when he was just taking a nap? Why were they in Sickbay?’ he wondered.

There was a familiar voice beside him, “Relax, Mr. Paris. This will relax you.” There was the hiss of a hypo against his neck with the Doc helping him onto a nearby bio bed so he could get some sleep. “Am I hurt?” No one hurt him.

In his sleep, a strong hand led him down the path, “Our safe haven, baby.”

************

They told him that Chakotay was dead.

“Oh, gods, I can’t breathe,” Tom’s chest was so tight he was hurting to try and breathe with his lungs screaming for air. Tears fell down the stricken face.

“Relax, Mr. Paris.” A hypo hissed against his neck and darkness fell over him. It was safe in the dark; no one could hurt him here.

************  
“Tom, it’s time for the funeral,” hands pulled at him trying to take him from his safe haven deep in his mind. Screams shrieked in his ear, not realizing that it was his voice making the sounds.

“No, it’s not true. He’s here with me,” he fought with them until his chest hurt again. “Can’t breathe. Need air.”

There was the hiss of the hypo and he retreated back to his safe haven where they played and made love. They were wrong. His Cha was alive!

************  
“Come on, Tom. You can’t sleep your life away,” the sound of Harry’s voice intruded in on his safe haven. ‘Can’t they just leave the both of them alone?’ He shifted as he pushed the hands away. “No, you’re lying. Cha is alive and he’s here with me.”

“Tom, Chakotay is dead,” he heard Harry’s voice insistent in his ear and struck out in anger, not realizing that Harry saw the blow coming and easily avoided it.

“Lier! Cha, help me! I can’t breathe,” he tried to yell as the elephant sat on his chest constricting his ribs and muscles with unbearable pain.  
The hiss of the hypo sent him back to his safe place where no one ever got hurt or died.

************  
He felt the strong broad arms around him and keeping him safe and well loved by the dark-skinned man in his life.

“Hey, baby,” a sweet melodic voice whispered in his ear. “Let’s get naked and have some fun.” Hands, blunt and warm, reached for his clothes and gently removed them leaving him helpless with desire for his Maquis love.

“Please, Cha, don’t make me beg.” Full sensuous lips closed over his shutting off any further protest.

A big stocky body packed full of muscle smooth to his touch laid on top of his long slender frame moving to love him.

All is well in his safe place. No one could hurt them here.

************  
“Doctor, will I get my pilot back?” Captain Janeway asked as she walked into Sickbay only to find the doctor sedating a hysterical Tom Paris once again.

With a slight whimper, Tom went back to sleep.

“I don’t know, Captain. Losing his husband may be more than he can handle. Until his hysteria calms down, I can’t even talk to him,” the EMH confessed. “We are not equipped to handle this kind of grief.”

“Come up with some suggestions so Tuvok and I can see what can be done to help Tom, if we can help him,” Janeway ordered softly as she brushed the blond hair back from the pale forehead. It had been three days since Commander Chakotay had died while protecting his away team from hostile aliens on the planet surface. The fatal blow had been struck in front of Tom’s eyes who had gone berserk and stayed hysterical since that moment.

“I will, Captain. I can’t keep him sedated too much longer. The sedatives will start to become addicting to him again,” the Doctor frowned over Tom’s bio readings.

“Do what you can, Doctor and keep me informed,” Janeway said as she left Sickbay.

Ordering some opera to sing along with, the Doctor went into his office and called up all available research on grief counseling.

“Cha,” Tom said softly from his bio bed, his hand reaching out in the air and coming up empty.

************  
There was a log cabin by a lake in his safe haven as he walked down the path and it felt like home. Sunset was in the sky over the mountainous backdrop full of gold, pink and purple. On the end of the boat dock, a stocky figure silhouetted by the approaching dusk turned and smiled at complete with dimples. His heart lurched with love for his husband as large fingers entwined with his slender ones.

“Let’s go home, love. I have supper ready for you,” his voice never failed to send a thrill straight to his groin.

“Anything for you, Cha.” They stopped for a brief kiss before closing the door behind them.

The sound of a whippoorwill broke the stillness for a brief moment.

************  
A lucid moment.

“Why am I in Sickbay, Doc? Did I get hurt?” Tom sat up weaving a little from the sedatives still in his system.

“No, Mr. Paris. You were not hurt. You became quite hysterical and I had to sedate you,” the EMH used his most comforting tones.

The blue eyes stared at him in disbelief, “Where’s Chakotay? Why isn’t he here?” Tom’s voice got higher as his heart started to hurt and terror set in.

“Tom, Chakotay died four days ago. Don’t you remember?” the hologram took in the uncomprehending eyes and the white face. “Tom?”

“Lair,” his voice got shrill. “I was just with him last night.”

His chest constricted as the familiar pain set in. “I can’t breathe.” Knife-life pains stabbed at his sides as he tried to draw a breath of oxygen.

Shaking his head, the Doctor gave Tom another sedative relaxing the pilot back into sleep. Sighing as only a hologram could, he wiped the tears from the pale face and pulled the blanket up around his chin.

************  
Cha was paddling the back of the canoe as they came up to the boat dock in front of their cabin. They bumped the dock gently and Cha grabbed the edge of the dock holding the canoe steady so Tom could get out. Tom turned holding the canoe steady so Cha could get out. It had been an exhilarating afternoon canoeing up the lake to the tributaries that fed into the body of water.

“How about some dinner, baby?” Cha asked as they finished putting the canoe in the rack. Pulling the slim blond into his arms, he kissed Tom deeply until they both needed to come up for oxygen.

“Only if you’re cooking, Cochise,” Tom leered at his husband while squeezing that firm brown ass that belonged only to him.

Together, hand in hand, they went into the cabin feeling at peace and in love.

************  
There was a smile on Tom’s face as Harry came into Sickbay to check on his best friend and brother. He watched the still figure for a few minutes noting the new lines and how drawn the fine-featured face was. Still, he had to try once again to get Tom to face the reality of the situation.

“Tom, please wake up. If you don’t come around, you won’t be able to fly,” Harry shook the thin shoulder gently, but got no response.

“Only Cha can make me fly,” Tom whispered so softly that Harry almost didn’t catch it.

“Don’t’ you want to fly Voyager?” Harry caressed the pale cheek with one hand while holding Tom’s hand with his other as a tear fell from a dark eye.

“Only with Cha behind me,” Tom answered not waking up, but answering his best friend on another level of awareness.

“I’m sorry, Tom. Chakotay died five days ago back on that planet. He was killed right in front of you,” Harry pushed the matter in front of his best friend’s face. He wanted Tom to come back and time for the gentleness to stop. If Tom didn’t face up to the reality soon, the Captain was talking about letting Tuvok mind meld with the pilot.

Panic hit Tom once again as his friends lied to him about Cha. He screamed, “Lair. All lies. Go away and leave us alone.” Than he fell silent.

The blue eyes shot open and Harry flinched when he saw the blank stare in them. Waving his hand in front of those beautiful eyes, there was no reaction. At least there was no hysteria this time.

************  
Hand in hand, they hiked around the lake enjoying each other’s company while having a picnic in their favorite clearing where they could watch the wildlife go by. On a soft blanket spread out over the wild grass, Cha made love to Tom all that afternoon showing his husband that he was his one and only forever.

The sun was setting over the mountains as they came home to their log cabin. When they opened the door the warmth of their home welcomed them. Tom kissed his husband as they stood just inside the door while the last of the sunlight slipped over the mountains and the night came on. Picking the blond up, Cha kicked the door shut and the whippoorwill’s cry broke the silence for the moment.

************  
Tuvok tried a mind meld with the pilot and was very surprised when Tom literally threw him out of his mind. The Vulcan had been unaware of the mental training that Mr. Paris had received from his husband over the years. His mind had developed a lot of discipline on their meditations and spirit journeys together.

“My apologies, Captain,” Tuvok said as he entered the ready room to report on his session with the Chief Pilot. “I was unable to complete a successful meld with Mr. Paris. He has developed very strong barriers and was able to deflect my attempts to meld with him.”

“If he wasn’t married to Chakotay, I would find that hard to believe, Tuvok,” Janeway said as she got him a cup of tea and herself a fresh cup of coffee.

“I was able to determine one very important detail, Captain,” Tuvok stated as he took the tea from her.

“What’s that?” She did not think that she was going to like this bit of news at all.

“Tom is standing on a precipice in his mind. He is weaving towards insanity versus sanity and he’s trying to make the decision to stay or go,” Tuvok admitted. “He is wavering between the love for his husband versus his duty to stay with the ship despite the hardship it would be for him to be without Chakotay.”

“And if we push him too hard, he may jump,” Kathryn said as she pinched the brow of her forehead. Losing Chakotay was hard enough, but to lose Tom as well would be virtually a disaster for the ship and crew.

“That is correct, Captain,” Tuvok agreed.

************  
Each time he came to his safe haven, there were more details to the place, but the main one was his husband waiting for him as he came up the path.

“Hey, baby. I’ve been waiting all day for you to come home,” familiar arms slipped around his waist while full lips claimed his. Tom melted before the assault on his senses continued.

“Gods, I love you so much, Cha,” he responded to his husband automatically as they moved from the porch of the cabin too indoors.

Making love on the ground was a sure guarantee for some very stiff bodies the next day when they had a huge king bed in their bedroom. Cha guided the two of them through the door while clothes were being shed and tossed to one side or the other. They fell on the bed in a heap of limbs and bare skin.

“Take me, Cha. I belong only to you. Make me fly, baby.” Tom whispered as he caught a dark nipple and chewed on it softly delighting in the groans of pleasure coming from his husband.

Taking the slim man in his arms, Cha made him his over and over that night.

Outside, the cry of a loon broke the stillness of the night with a lonely call…

************  
“As of this stardate, I hereby place Lt. Thomas Eugene Chakotay-Paris on indefinite medical leave pending a full physical and psychological exam to determine future flight status. I can only hope that Lt. Chakotay-Paris will make some kind of recovery from the death of his husband, Commander Chakotay. Computer, end log,” the Captain of Voyager got a fresh cup of coffee while rubbing her forehead against the oncoming headache.

The door to her ready room chimed and Tuvok came in with a fresh stack of PADDs for her to review.

“I did it, Tuvok. I didn’t want to do it, but I put Tom on indefinite medical leave. Has there been any word from the Vilad on our trading request,” Kathryn looked at her new First Officer with troubled blue-grey eyes.

“I regret to hear that, Kathryn,” Tuvok said quietly. “We have not heard anything back from the Vilad.”

“I know. We also need to look at restructuring the chain of command. Consider who is ready for advancement and those to be trained for their positions,” Janeway looked at Tuvok as the enormity of the loss to Voyager, the crew and herself that it finally hit her like a ton of bricks. Tears fell from her eyes as she felt like a runaway train.

Strong arms gathered her up and took her over to the couch just below the viewport where he sat with and cradled her until she cried herself out. Tuvok was holding her head and using his touch telepathy to project calm into her to soothe the hurt she was feeling. Losing Chakotay was a major loss to the ship and crew, but to add the high spirited pilot to that loss was something the ship would never totally recover from.

Regaining her composure, Kathryn sat up and pulled her Captain’s mask back on, “Thank you, my good friend.” She smiled wanly at him.

“My pleasure, Kathryn,” Tuvok stood up knowing that she would not want to discuss her loss of face. “I will get started on the recommendations for the empty positions.”

“Okay, Commander,” she said absently and dove for the safety of the endless reports to lose herself in.

************  
Tom reached the crossroad in his mind and stood there trying to decide which direction to travel. One road led down the valley to the log cabin where he knew Cha was waiting for him while the other road would lead him to a long lonely climb to the mountain top so he could fly, but no one to catch him if he fell.

The wind blew down from the mountaintop carrying the voices of his crewmates and closest friends pleading for him to climb to the mountaintop and join them. A cross breeze came up with whisperings of come home to me, beloved.

Which road to travel on?

“Choose, Tommy-boy,” Chakotay stood before him.

“Tom, Chakotay is dead. Come back to Voyager. We need you,” Captain Janeway appeared before him pleading.

“Come home with me, baby,” Chakotay held out his arms inviting him to step into his loving embrace.

“Tom, come home to Voyager, we need you to fly the ship,” Janeway said firmly as she stepped in front of Chakotay. “Chakotay is dead and your friends still need you.”

Grasping his head in confusion, he screamed, “Leave me alone. Cha, help me! I can’t do this without you.”

Something snapped inside his mind and he choose which road he wanted to travel on and nothing else would change his mind.

************  
When Harry came in Sickbay to visit Tom, he found the EMH feeding him a bowl of oatmeal. Tom did not look his way or even notice his best friend standing there; he just stared straight ahead with a blank look in the dull blue eyes.

“What happened, Doc?” Harry asked even though he already knew the answer in his heart.

“Mr. Paris screamed for a moment about 4:37 a m this morning and nothing since. He has just been sitting there with a blank stare on his face,” the Doctor gently gave the blond another spoonful of the hot cereal. Tom chewed and swallowed it automatically while looking straight ahead over the Doc’s shoulders at something only he could see.

A tear ran down Harry’s face as he left to inform the Captain of the choice that Tom had made.

************  
Tom headed down the path and gave a brilliant smile when he saw the stocky figure waiting for him in the doorway to their home.

Only the lonely cry of a whippoorwill broke the stillness as the door shut behind them.

The End


End file.
